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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 11, Episode 5
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fifth episode of the eleventh series. Key * HD – Hugh Dennis * AP – Andy Parsons * MJu – Miles Jupp * CA – Chris Addison * JW – Josh Widdicombe * MJo – Milton Jones Topics Things You Won't Hear At The Olympics AP - Very impressive. Usain Bolt has done a lap of honour and won the 400 metres as well. HD - So Daley going for 3 1/2 Somersault with Pike. And I have to say, the pike doesn't look too happy about it. MJo - Good morning, no surprises here at the final of the archery--- (falls down) MJu - Victoria Pendleton's cycling incredibly fast at the moment due to trying to get away from a horny Boris Johnson. JW - She was hoping for bronze, but sadly for Sue Barker, she is bright orange. AP - I would like to apologise for my early mistake. We are in fact watching the javelin, and not as I said, "Dwarf Darts". CA - And all of the sailing golds have gone to the Somali team in exchange for the safe return of Sir Steve Redgrave. MJo - That is the fifth girl to jump off the top board and miss the huge pool below. Women divers! HD - This gymnast has a maximum degree of difficulty. His name is Churzit Kiddik-Kaddik-Fiddik-FlipFlapFlopFlep. JW - That is the 10 minute free view of the beach volleyball. If you'd like to watch the full one, please enter your PIN now. CA - And the crowd are on their feet. So much for getting the stadium finished on time. MJu - Well, that really was a spectacular day at weightlifting. But before we go, we've got time to just have a look at some of the spectacular anal prolapses we've seen today. HD - Lane 1, a family eating popcorn. Lane 2, two guys on a stag night. Lane 3-- I'm in the wrong place, this is bowling. AP - And now, in the weightlifting, it's the snatch. She's a big girl, but it's still compulsory. HD - Well, here at Weymouth, our gold medal prospect is out. In the last race he touched the boy, and he's been arrested by social services. Unlikely Things To Read In A Children's Book AP - And so the tiger came to tea, and then shagged another woman, and went back to playing golf. JW - As soon as Professor Snape saw Hermione, he knew in a few years she would be really hot. HD - "What's a Gruffalo?", said the Gruffalo. "It's a buffalo on 40 a day." CA - "These bacon sandwiches are delicious!", said Pooh. "Aren't they, Piglet? Piglet?" MJo - And so, 101 dalmatians fell asleep. Hang on, those aren't dalmatians. Those are just ordinary white puppies, riddled with bullets. JW - "Hello, my name is the Very Hungry Caterpillar. I have an eating disorder." AP - Unfortunately, Bob the Builder couldn't fix it, because Bobski the Polish Builder had undercut him and done a far better job! MJu - "This place is rubbish," said Edmund. "Doesn't anybody have sex here?". "Oh, yes," said Aslan, "what do you think the griffins are for?" HD - But despite his protests, Mr. Tickle was put on the register. MJo - After years of depression and alcoholism, the little girl emigrated. And that is the end of Alice in Sunderland. CA - "This is Pooh Corner", explained one of the other captives. HD - "Have you heard about Badger?", said Ratty. "He's been gassed to stop the spread of Bovine TB." AP - As the train came slowly past, The Railway Children chucked stones at it and spray-painted "Thomas is a Wanker." MJo - Tales of the Unexpected. Once upon a--- BLAAAH! CA - And then, as he did every night, Fantastic Mr. Fox knocked over a bin and shat on the doorstep. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See